Posted in Confessions on AM000000110000002428 20, 2006 by hafeez18
Shouldnt have thought of doing such…Those silly messages. Where the hell did i even think about sending it. I did and guess i didnt realise that such statements can mean and hurt others. She was a bit affected by it and when i hear those voice that just doenst feels right, i know that i have gone a bit far in my playfulness.
Please accept my apology my dear because your smile does matter. Alot.
Was having dinner just now and in my mind, i just feel very down with my action today. Guess i have to draw some lines between jokes..Dont want to cause my love ones a downful night on their part.
Have made up my mind, that perhaps 6 weeks will no longer be 6 weeks. After Chinese New Year it shall be…. May i am able to deliver those lines correctly and may i hear what i want to hear all this while.
Age is just a number and im ready for it… Its been a long time..a very long time since i really feel such strong emotions from both parties. Guess my prayer had been answer in a very interesting way. Till today, her existence has indeed been a blessing in disguise.
I didnt begin with the intention to find one. Didnt begin with the intention to flirt around. The feelings begin without me realising it and i shun it away because i dont dare to follow cause im afraid.. than..things became different and unknowingly she has such interpretations as well.
Posted in Confessions on PM00000010000005028 20, 2006 by hafeez18
Something struck my mind on the home. Something which makes me realise its time i let go and focus on what i have already plans for the upcoming days and months. No point always wanting to help unnecessarily when its not a healthy thing to do. Guess i will only help those who are sincere seek the help and not otherwise.
Was changing in my room when i just realise that i had 15 days left in camp before i am gone from the term National Service. The last few pieces will be my last few contributions. Finally my time has come. Im throwing all thoughts away and nothing else should disturb my mind. I will just smile and spend my days with things i like to do and people i love to spend with. The biggest event that i have spend almost two years will end soon.
My turn to go. Before i leave there will be a last farewell to those that matters in my life..the bros..the companions and the good frens….
On another note, well i guess im not the only one with my body aching after dance practise today. The dancers did greata dn they have learn the steps altogether and from now onwards will just be recapping the steps and the sharpness. Was really very worried that i cannot convey the Gasolina steps properly because its way to complicated but thank god they did it well especially the turning part. It was wow!
Little did we know that we have two new back up dancers name Atiqah and Baby who loves to cling to us…Yup..I was peechelss when they went under Leezaa and then go under me… We were like playgrounds hahaha Took a pic of them and us.
The didi dancer before Theba Came. Sooleeza is the one in black and behind her is the ultimate girls: Freda,Mia and Hajar. I simply love the opening models for them. Liyana was having gastric and tekong boy was stuck at rewang haha.
In my mind and heart…i really wanted to express certain statement because i feel that i could no longer hold on to it. Walking with you….. and then decided to make her melatar..Yahoo i pass!!!
6 more weeks ..or perhaps if there’s a twist, i will defiantely and personally ask you to be…..
Posted in Confessions on AM000000110000005828 20, 2006 by hafeez18
-andaaz, allah kare dil na -
Been down with fever today morning…. The morning drama that i have to been throuhg. Why of all time today..Oh god! Was entering the clinic when i have to wear this mask due to my fever. The waiting time for my room number is 4 but before me there is 2 of that clinic staff reporting sick, i was like speechless because they were gosipping outside before their time arrives.
I got a female doctor. Ms Ratnoom Patparpurri. First time i got a female doctor there. Weird man. I was very scared because honestly she reminds me of one of my schools ex vice principal. This short lady who have such thick accent and have the face of a discipline master. Its like it wa a sin to fall sick in her clinic room. Help Help. She didnt really communicate with me. Gave me an mc and give me some nutritional advices as well. Her eyes was like Goodness. I freaked out.
My day at home, while i was reciprocating at home, She went out in the morning and will only come back in the afternoon. Her msges makes me feel more restless becos i was missing her badly. I woke up about 7 plus plus and the first thing i saw was her facebook tagline which really shake me up and down literally.
Your concern makes me smile, your worriness makes me shed tears and your words just touches me so much and i want to bring you out and tell you whats hidden in my mind all this while…. To spend one beautiful time with you, just you…..
Harry potter is being shown right now on tv and i was rmeinded of the times where i was die hard fan of it and its toys. I still have its Hogworts manor toy which i kept away…. Same goes to Sylvanian. Maybe i will bring it out some day.
Will be ahving dance tmrw and im super eager to meet them all once again. Its been a month together learning the steps…. They are great …
Posted in Confessions on AM000000110000002628 20, 2006 by hafeez18
Izinkan aku memulakan tulisanku dengan nmemberi salam kepada semua pembaca. Terkenang kembali kepada pelbagai kejadian dari zaman dahulu hingga sekarang dan mengapa ia berlaku. Takkan aku pernah melupakan mengenai zaman persekolahanku yang tidak pernah ku bayangkan mengapa is sebegitu kecuali hari ini. Turut sama sewaktu zaman perkerjaanku disebuah toko buku yang masih menjadi idaman fikiranku selalu. Akhir sekali, hari dimana aku dibawa kepada perkhidmatan negara yang sudah pun mencapai kemuncak akhir nya dalam beberapa minggu lagi.
Hatiku pernah berkata bahawa akan amat indah sekali jikalau yang berpasangan masih dan bersama hingga ke tamat tugasan negara mereka. Airmata ku berlinang sewaktu perletakkan topi askar di kepala kami sewaktu di akhirnya zaman di Pulau Tekong. Menginginkan seseorang teman untuk membuatkan sedemikian tapi sayang…tidak kesampaian. Aku sudah pasarah dengan jodoh dan pertemuan. Banyak yang berlaku dan tidak ku ingin mengimbas kembali zaman itu.
Ibu dan kakakku hadir namun tidah dapat ku bohong bahawa alangkah gembira juga saat itu jikalau adernya seseorang insan yang menemaniku. Namun siapa sangka sekarang bahawa lain yang terjadi….
Aku sentiasa berlandaskan diriku atas prinsip yang ku pegang dengan teguh. Iaitu, aku tidak mempermainkan perassan wanita itu dan juga dia kepada aku. Aku tidak percaya dengan perhubungan yang digelar perhubungan terbuka dimana pasangan masing-masing dibiarkan bermaharajarela dengan kawan-kawan ataupun orang yang tidak dikenal. Aku inginkan sebuah perhubungan yang berdasarkan kepercayaan dan menghormati pasangan masing-masing. Banyak yang liar kini dan sayang sekali ada yang tidak sedar akan keliaran mereka.
Aku minat dengan aktiviti yang mengunkan tubuh badan untuk menyelesaikan sesuatu yang mencabar dan kegiatan mendaki, berlari dan sewaktu dengannya juga tarian menjadi hobiku.
Tarian…haha dimana harus aku bermula. Memberi sebuah nafas kepada langkah-langkah yang direka dan menghidupkan kembali sebagai sebuah tarian yang hebat. Entahd ari maner lahirnya minat ini namun kembali ke zaman dahulu, aku percaya ada sebabnya aku diberi minat sedemikian kerana pertemuanku dengan insan seseorang ini lahir dari minat itu.
Hari pertama aku berdiamkan pemikiranku yang lain kecuali mengajar tarian sahaja. Tidak dapat ku bohong bahawa ada yang membuatku berminat juga. Bagaimana harusku katakan. Dimana harusku bermula. Ya tuhan, tidak kupercaya bahawa ini boleh berlaku. Tidak lama dahulu aku pernah dikecewakan dan yang ini……lain dari yang lain kerana aku sanggup mengatakan bahawa aku ……………………………
8 minggu perjanjian
Penuh cobaan dan kesabaran.
Aku mohon… ya takdir janganlah bermain denganku sekali lagi kerana aku benar-benar ikhlas……dari hatiku………
Aku sedia menunggu…..
Yang maha esa, kamu telahpun memberiku pelbagai maksud dan tujuan bagi meneruskan hasrat dan pencapaianku. Berilah aku peluang untuk mendapat……dan tidak seperti apa yang engkau telah berikan padaku setiap tahun yang lalu.
Posted in Confessions on PM00000020000003728 20, 2006 by hafeez18
Waking up each morning and smiling. Where does this jolt of smiles comes from each time i wakes up. You leave me wanting to spend each minutes not sleeping because there always seem to be more and more topics to talk about….laugh about.
Today i wake up, and i cant stop thinking……..
Ur words made me speechless and the entries made me silent because the last time i seen such effort is way long long or perhaps i cant remember exactly where…. I used to like such graphics…untill…and now you made me appreciate it again….
Posted in Confessions on PM000000120000002528 20, 2006 by hafeez18
Everytime i blog, im always reminded by a comment my fren made that says that my style of blogging is like full of emotions and such. Well guess its is an online diary but rest assure i dont mention names to humiliate others specifically here. I respect that.
First, i just re-arrange my house and i cook mee poh..super hungry. Second i like the new position of the computer.
The ingredients and Mr lingam is the secret ingredient.
The final meal wow…take a look at the cheese hotdog.
Third, finally i have made the final adjustment to Aura ethana dance steps and positions. Since the day this group is formed, i have been looking forward to it greatly. There have been various major obstacles but thank god, that we manage to solve it gracefully.
Shall cut hair tmrw and i want to watch santau badly. Hmm
Last note:
I am greatly keeping this patience for the great day. The smile is still there. The thoughts of neighbours is still in my mind. Thank you to you….
Today dance rehearsal is for those who need to look additional steps or those who have missed out steps. Members present were leeza, theba and liyana. Great practise and trust me, all of us were rolling on the floor after a while and it continues rolling from 1.30 all the way to 6.30.
The amount of laughter we had. Leezaa did way better and so does the rest. Zaim wanted to come but i told him not too since he will be tired from Sentosa. We take pictures while dancing. Take a look below.
- Theba, liyana and Sooleeza -
- Before the Stunts -
- Candid with theba -
Great job everyone and we have new addition to our family. Lia, Mia and freda.
Posted in Confessions on PM00000020000004631 20, 2006 by hafeez18
I seriously wonder sometimes does one actually sit down to think whether certain actions or words said will actually hurt others if being carried out. If so, is it alright for one to condone such behaviour but when others were to show symptoms of similar catasatrophe acts, one cant accept it back. Why?
A gentle and soothing statement can actually results in a thunderous emotions. One thing that is clear, Single guys dont you ever dare give a lift to others gf without asking for the bf’s permission. One: drop your flirtation act and Two: Please know your limits guys. Let me put it this way and you tell me if this is ok and if this is ok, than i got nothing to say.
Someone’s wife was sent home by some non-blood related guy, not even a school friend and just a random online friend. Should the husband feel ok and take it openly? One thing, this aint the western. And if this is normal, fine than if i should say that Husband should also be kind enough to send other husband’s attached or married wife home randomly. Fair isnt it
This is not sarcastic but this is reality. My own opinion is that i dont find this appropriate bcos No 1, not all guys are decent. Please dont do this unless both parties are super open minded but no some are possesive. So if you know your partners and yourself are possesive, than dont commit such acts.
Posted in Confessions on AM000000100000003631 20, 2006 by hafeez18
Boleh saya mengundur diri kerana terlalu byk yang telah terjadi didalam sekelip mata. Bermula dengan satu impian dan harapan malah renungan yang menjadi kenyataan. Boleh saya katakan bahawa saya terasa gelisah kadang kala.
Hari demi hari telah berlalu namum harapan yang diberi tapi dusta yang dibalas. Kesabaran ada batasannya. Bukan sekali. Pelik sekali manusia zaman sekarang. Jikalau ditegur, bergaduh. Dihiraukan, membawa perbualan mulut. Saya hanya manusia biasa. Jikalau dapat saya bersabar dengan kerenah anda, janganlah mengambil kesempatan.
Apabila hari dimana berakhirlah kesabaran saya, minta maaf tapi anda tidak lagi bererti didalam hidup ini buat saya. Janganla mengumpat atau membalas kerena anda tahu anda yang salah. Di penghujung hari, kalau anda sedar, itulah sebaik-baiknya.
Sudah sekian lama saya berdiam. Jangan mengambil kesempatan, saya meminta dari anda. Usia hanyalah sebuah angka. Yang muda tidak semestinya lebih pandai mahupun yang tua lebih matang.
Mahu mengundur memang banyak kali terasa namun saya percaya ada hikmah disebaliknya. Saya tidak rugi apa-apa dan kali ini saya tidak akan undur.
